


Rainbow Crow

by Morphfang



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, M/M, No Beta, ShinIchi 2020, daemon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23352562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morphfang/pseuds/Morphfang
Summary: When Ichigo was a kid, he was told stories of heroes and wished to be one. Now that he's older, he regrets his wish.
Relationships: Hirako Shinji/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 101





	Rainbow Crow

When Ichigo was a child, his mother told him stories. Stories of kings and heroes, of victory and defeat. She wove images of great beasts who slept under moonlit lakes and chariots that led the sun through the sky. He would always listen wide-eyed as his mother painted beautiful pictures with words alone. He always treasured these stories, an oasis he would fall back on when the whispers of "freak" his peers got past his flimsy walls.

His daemon, Valora, loved shifting through the most exotic and intriguing species; maned wolves and Tasmanian tigers, bearded vultures and king cobras; trying her best to find animals as whimsical as the stories they were told each night. His mother's daemon, a handsome caracol named June, would always lay beside him when he slept, chasing away the monsters and comforting whenever needed.

× ×  ×

The rain mixed with his tears as he stared unblinking at the coffin. Images of blood and the feeling of being crushed fresh in his memory. His father refused to look at him, to scoop him into his arms and confront him. It supposed it was only fair, it was his fault after all.

But that didn't change just how much it hurt, how much it pained him to see his sisters cry, to wake up without June, to never hear those stories of magic again.

It took another week for him to finally break. To sneak off with one of his father's razors and walk to the river at night, when there was no one to stop him, no one but Valora to tell him _ this isn't right. _

Standing by the river with his father's razor, he thought about what might happen if this worked. Would father be happy he's gone? Would life get easier for the twins? There was only one way to find out. Holding his wrist above the river, he pressed the blade to his wrist. Slowly and softly at first, before his emotions got the better of him.

It hurt. It hurt alot. But he still cut deeper and faster, until he was drenched in his own blood and bone shone in the moonlight, tears racing down his face as the world faded to black.

He woke up three hours later in his own bed, wrist perfectly healed and no razor in sight. A voice in the back of his mind purred.

× ×  ×

It had been an average day when Rukia first barged into his life. Isshin kicked him awake while his goat daemon attempted to attack Valora, the local thugs tried to fight him, the ghosts bothered him, and the only thing that had been different had been the midget walking through his window. At least he had gotten some sweet powers out of the whole ordeal.

It had been a horrible week when Rukia had been abducted by Soul Society due to bullshit charges. Not only did he nearly die twice but some egotistical asshole declared war. Thankfully he'd got a badge that showed that he was an ally to Soul Society as well as achieving his bankai and gaining a new( _ old _ ) head friend.

It had been a downright mess when he first met Shinji.

The local gangs had been doubling down on their efforts to either get him on their side or get him out of the picture entirely. Which meant they were now bringing deadlier weapons than just chains and pipes. Which is exactly how he got into this situation in the first place.

Bleeding from multiple deep gashes across his body, he stumbled out from the alleyway, hissing in pain as Valora curled around his neck protectively, and started walking in the direction of his house. Yuzu and Karin were still at school and Goatface had a meeting until around 6pm so he didn't have to worry about worrying his sisters or being attacked by Isshin. Turns out, worrying about whether anyone was home or not was unnecessary.

"Woah kid, ya don't look so good." He whips around, temporarily making himself dizzy, to look at the owner of the voice.

A blonde, about 5'9, with pale skin and a poor taste in clothing, and his daemon, a lioness, were looking straight at him with looks of concern. He scowled. Why couldn't people just leave him alone.

"I'm fine." He snapped, watching as the blonde's eyes narrowed. He crossed his arms and raised a brow, obviously calling him out on his bullshit. His lion snorted.

"Come on kid, we both know those aren't mere scratches."

"And why do you care?" He growled, only for it to get stuck in his throat when the blonde's hand grabbed his wrist and led him down the street, the lioness flanking him. "Let me go!"

"And let ya bleed ta death? I think not." For being shorter and thinner than him, the blonde was unusually strong. Or maybe that was because of the blood loss. "Besides, I was gonna meet ya anyway. Urahara enlisted me ta help ya with yer little problem." He stopped resisting as shock flooded his system.

"What?" The blonde grinned over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I was just as shocked as ya are when I first got the news. Our kind aren't exactly natural, or bountiful, so a new visored is kind of a big deal. Just don't make any short jokes when ya meet Hiyori."

Before he could ask what that meant or where they were going, they stopped in front of what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. He squinted at the blonde, who merely grinned.

"What's wrong? Ya think it's sketchy looking? Haven't ya ever heard the phrase 'don't judge a book by its cover?'"

"...You've dragged me across town to a secluded area. I don't know if  _ you _ know this but if a complete stranger takes you some place abandoned, it's a safe bet to say you're in trouble." The blonde cocked his head to the side, confused, before realization flashed across his face.

"Name's Shinji Hirako, and this," He pointed at the lioness, "Is Sophia." She purred.

"Pleasure to meet you. Care to introduce yourself? It's only fair." He blinked at the question.

"Ichigo Kurosaki. The cobra around my neck is Valora." Slit eyes met.

"What a beautiful name." He couldn't tell if she was sincere or not. Not that it really mattered. Not when Shinji is dragging him into the warehouse and introducing him to his seven new mentors( _ packmates _ ).

× ×  ×

The next few months were a clusterfuck. Between the visored training him into the ground, the arrancar showing up, and school, he had little time to sleep. He gets even less time to sleep when some arrancar kidnaps Orihime.

The Shinigami refuse to send a rescue team over some bullshit claim of Orihime being a  _ traitor _ and when shinigami other than Rukia and Renji do appear, it's far too late.

Ichigo died. In more ways than one. He had his heart destroyed by Ulquiorra. He scared Orihime and he had  _ hurt _ Uryu. And to make things worse, he's expected to defeat Aizen.

He doesn't. Not at first. He's forced to leave his friends, who are  _ injured _ , to train in the dangai after his first real confrontation with Aizen. To learn some finishing move that should defeat Aizen.

The key word being should.

Because after everything he did, Aizen was still  _ alive _ and  _ free _ and had only been stopped by Geta-boshi's kido, not mugetsu. And to make things worse, his powers start dissipating.

Two-thirds of his soul. Gone. An emptiness he had never felt before a crater in his chest. His living friends avoid him and send pitying looks his way, his sisters lie to him while his father ignores the devastating aftermath on his son's psyche, and none of his shinigami friends even bother to visit, abandoning him like a tool that's lost its use.

He's useless to others, waking in the night from dreams of death as he chokes off a scream to avoid waking the twins. He's isolated from his friends and family, who either ignore him or lie straight to his face. And, for the first time in six years, he considers overdosing. Hell, he's already smoking joints and taking shots from thugs in the shadier parts of town, many of which owe him favors, so it's not like it'd be hard to get his hands on some of the harder drugs. But he decides against it. His sisters still need him because their father is even more useless than him.

Then it happens all over again, with a group that called themselves the fullbringers. Ginjou had, for a brief period of time, been exactly what he needed. A mentor who cared about him. That gave him his usefulness back. His hope back.

Only to rip it from his broken hands and leave him crushed and crying in the rain.

The blade that seared through him felt like a literal representation of reality. He knew that the only reason he was given his powers back was because they needed him to clean up another mess. He had assumed that mess was Ginjou, an ex-substitute shinigami who expected Ichigo to join him when he explained just  _ what _ the badge was.

He laughed. He couldn't help himself. Did this guy really think he was that stupid? He'd make him regret that. He'd let him know how he felt about everything with a viciousness mirroring that of his hollow. Ending Ginjou's life had been surprisingly blissful, with the beautiful finish of Valora settling into her true form, a majestic king cheetah. It turned out to be a better day than he thought it would.

× ×  ×

Turns out Ginjou wasn't the mess the shinigami wanted him to clean up. No, the real reason he was given back his powers was so he could fight Ywach and his little band of Sternritters. Honestly, he's getting a little tired of helping the shinigami with their shit. Not to mention majorly disappointed with how easily Yamamoto was defeated. He was going to let Soul Society reap what they sowed, but then something unexpected happened.

Uryu joined the board.

Uryu, the only one who had an inkling of how he felt. Uryu, who's part of his pack no matter how much he says otherwise. Uryu, who turns out to be his _ cousin _ . (Isshin how much did you _ lie? _ )

So he fights Yhwach, kills him with Uryu's help, and saves the day once again. And things go alright for a while. Until everything he's been through catches up to him.

The nightmares had always been a problem, ever since his mom died. The PTSD and panic attacks were newer, having shown up after his first war. But after six months of rebuilding and relative peace, there's something new scratching under his skin. He becomes paranoid (will his _pack_ abandon him again?) and jumpy (what if an enemy tries to attack?) and the need to _fight_ , to _shed_ _blood,_ becomes overwhelmingly strong.

He ends up taking frequent trips to Hueco Mundo, just to fight with someone who'll take him seriously. Because Kenpachi has somehow mellowed out and hasn't been giving his all in fights. And Shunsui and Urahara always held back, as if they were afraid to hurt him.  _ He hated it _ . He wanted to fight someone who'd hurt him, who'd fight him like an equal, who wanted to shed as much blood as possible. Grimmjow ends up becoming his rock, fighting with him for hours or even days on end, no questions asked. He does have to put a limit on his trips eventually, when his sisters start to worry. So he starts looking for a potential career path to keep him busy.

His living friends have already figured out their future plans. With Uryu shadowing a surgical nurse, Orihime wanting to open her own restaurant, and Chad working part-time at a local pet shop, their futures were pretty much set. The only one still unsure of their future plans was Ichigo. And it's not like  _ Isshin _ would help his son, why would he?

Thankfully, someone else decided to.

× ×  ×

Nine months after the war, Shinji bursts back into his life. He had expected Rukia, or maybe even Renji, to be the first to visit him in the living world. But no. Instead he finds a grinning blonde sitting on his desk and a lioness lounging on his floor one night after a particularly stressful dinner. It's enough to make him stare in shock for a couple seconds, why dead people are incapable of using the front door was  _ beyond _ him, before the other male snaps him back to reality.

"Yo Ichigo, how's it hangin'?"

His jaw clicks shut as a million different questions and retorts race through his mind. After a couple seconds he decides on:

"What the fuck is that?" Because Shinji currently had what looked to be a furry blob on his lap, which had immediately risen its head when he spoke. It had unbelievably long fur for such a small kitten that was splattered with reddish brown, black, and silver with big jade colored eyes. The blondie lifted it from his lap.

"A kitten."

"I can  _ see _ that. Where did you get it?" Hirako shrugged.

"Heard it meowin' from a dumpster so I thought I'd bring it with me. Ain't it cute?" He held up the kit, which allowed him to see just how scrawny the poor thing was, and cooed at it before offering it to Ichigo, who rolled his eyes before quickly taking it into his arms. He'd have to get it checked out in the morning, but for now he had a blonde to deal with.

"So what brings you here?"

"Can't I just swing by ta visit?" 

"Shinji, it's been nine months since I've heard anything from Soul Society. Let alone seen anyone." Shinji flinched.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. We've been busy fixin' the place so no one's really had time ta visit." He said sheepishly.

"It's fine, I know that Soul Society got fucked up. I'm more curious as to why you're here to be honest."

"Ya really think I wouldn't come visit ya the second I had the time ta?"

"Figured it would have been at least a year till the Seireitei was fixed is all." He said as he sat on his bed, Valora jumping up beside him.

"I've been workin late ta get enough free time ta come visit. Most other squads are up ta their ears in paperwork." Amber eyes squinted in accusation.

"Sure you didn't just shove it all to Hinamori?"

The blonde clutched at his chest in mock hurt, "How could ya accuse me of such a thing?" Before laughing. Instantly, Ichigo felt his mood brighten as his lips twitched upwards.

When was the last time he had joked with his friends? The last time he felt something akin to warmth in his skin? How long had it been since he last  _ smiled? _ Soft umber eyes landed on him with amusement dancing in their depths.

"So how's ya schooling going?"

"I graduated a couple months ago asshole, you're late."

"Damn. Shoulda told me, I would've takin’ the day off."

"Really?" 

"Of course! I mean, why wouldn't I? Yer part of my  _ pack _ after all."

Ichigo's eyes widened for a second before he quickly turned away, trying to hide the blush that was threatening to take over his face. Of all the things for him to say, it had to be that. He felt the bed dip besides him.

"Ya okay? I didn't say anything weird did I?"

He sighed, "No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." Shinji squinted at him. "What?"

"Nothin'."

"Don't 'nothing' me asshole, I can see your face." All he got in response was a 'neh' as a tongue was flashed at him. He huffed. You'd think someone who was several hundred years old would act more mature. Apparently not. The kitten caught his attention before he could say anything else with a particularly big yawn, dispelling his annoyance instantly. He decided to ignore the smug grin that was sent his way.

"Do you have a name for it?"

"The Kitten? Nah, figured I'd let ya do the honors."

Dumping all the work on him then? Well if that's the case: "You're staying the night. And you're coming with me tomorrow when I take them to the vet." After a moment he added: "And you're helping me buy supplies."

The blonde blinked and was silent for a couple seconds, apparently digesting his words, before replying.

"Where do ya plan on hidin’ me till tomorrow?"

"The closet." He deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the snickering blonde. He was well aware of what joke he was thinking of. "If it was good enough for Rukia, it's good enough for you. Now shut up and hand me my phone so I can set up an appointment." After rolling his eyes in an extremely dramatic manner, Shinji chucked the phone towards him.

Ichigo catches it with ease before flipping it open, punching in the vet's number before Hirako could distract him, and places it by his ear. It only takes one ring for someone to pick up and less than five minutes to set up an appointment. Ten o'clock, on the dot. He sets a reminder on his phone before turning his attention back to Shinji.

Who was currently cursing and struggling to get comfortable in the closet, it was pretty hilarious. After snapping a photo for blackmailing purposes, he pushed himself up and walked over.

"You know you could have just  _ pulled _ the futon out right?" He had to smother a snicker at the scandalized look that was sent his way as he bent over to pull out the futon.

_ With Shinji still on it. _

A sharp yelp pierced the air as his arms flailed, hands searching for grasp onto and finding Ichigo, who looked down at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Graceful." A grin slid across his face as Hirako brought one of his hands against his own chest in a very flamboyant manner.

"Graceful's my middle name."

The only answer given to that particular quip was an eye roll.

× ×  ×

The next several months saw Shinji showing up at the Kurosaki residence on a semi-regular basis. Despite mostly popping up seemingly out of nowhere at the most randomest of times, he always visited at least twice a week.

Sometimes, when he showed up, he'd just start helping Yuzu with chores around the house. Other times he'd coerce Karin into breaking out some of her multiplayer games and end up mopping the floor with them in versus. He quickly became banned from Just Dance, Smash, and Mario Cart. Thankfully the worst thing he did in their Minecraft server was infest Ichigo's house with cats. How Shinji got that many cats without cheating was something he had yet to figure out.

Eventually Yuzu decides that Shinji should be invited to one of their movie nights. He very quickly becomes the permanent fourth member after he finds out which day it's normally held on.

Strangely enough, he never shows up when Isshin is around.

× ×  ×

Shunsui finally decides to contract Ichigo a whole year after the war. Not to talk, not to explain what's happening in Soul Society, not even to  _ apologize _ for a  _ year _ of silence.

No. Shunsui, the new Captain Commander of the Gotei 13, contacted Ichigo, the martyr who fought in two wars that had  _ nothing to do with him _ , so he could inform him of the first year anniversary of the end of the Blood War. He probably had good intentions but that didn't change the fact that it felt like rubbing salt in the wound. Not that Ichigo wasn't going to attend anyways, who knows what kind of bigoted idiots might show up to start shit with the visiting quincy. He arrives just before sundown and hits the first bar he sees and downs two whole bottles before the real anniversary party even  _ begins. _ Not that it really matters as half of the shinigami are already wasted. He scoffs.  _ Light-weights. _

It was a whole different story after three hours of nonstop drinking. His mind was almost as fuzzy as Komamura's fur and his legs wobbled as he walked towards the bar's exit, pushing past the hordes of drunkards and partygoers into the cool outside air.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" 

He looked up to see Shinji grinning at him. His hair, which he had grown to his shoulders, was in a low ponytail and he was wearing a black kimono with fuchsia petals dancing across the edges. The only thing that showed he had been even drinking at all was a faint blush. He grinned back.

"Looking pretty  _ sharp _ there Blonde, tryin' to impress someone?" Hirako's eyes danced with amusement and his grin became a hint more playful.

" _ Maaaybe _ ." He walked over to Ichigo and linked their arms together. "Come on, this party's pretty lackluster. We can get absolutely  _ smashed _ on Shunsui's secret stash, I found it just yesterday. He'll freak when he finds it gone, it'll be  _ great _ ."

Ichigo couldn't help the giggles that slipped out his lips as he was dragged along, Sophia and Valora on their heels.

He had no idea how long they had been walking, he just knew they were walking beside a river. His brown eyes landed on the riverbank and unwanted memories flooded his mind before he could react.

_ "Mom look! There's someone by the river." _

_ “Ichigo, there's no one. Please stay away from there." _

_ Short legs were already running towards the riverbank. His mother shouted and chased after. Before him, the child turned into a hulking beast. He stared as it leaned down, speaking words he didn't hear, before warmth surrounded him and his vision blurred with colors of black and red. _

_ Ichigo... _

_ Ichigo... _

"ICHIGO!"

He forced his eyes to open.

The world was blurred ( _ were those tears? _ ) and dark. Oh, he was curled up. Gentle fingers pulled his hands away from his head. He looked up to see Shinji, pale and shaken.

"What happened."

Fuck.  _ Fuck. _ Of all the people to see him like that, It had to be  _ Shinji. _ Hopefully he can brush it off. He carefully pulled himself up.

"Nothing important." The blonde growls.

" _ Bullshit. _ " So much for that idea. "Ya just crumpled over out of the blue, clutchin' yer head, cryin', and ya expect me ta believe  _ that? _ Somethin'  _ obviously _ wrong. I mean look," He grabbed Ichigo's arm and pulled it up, "Yer  _ shakin'. _ " He pulled his arm away, scowling. "Please. Ichigo,  _ please. _ Tell me what's wrong. Let me help ya."

"It's fine" Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Shinji's face scrunched up.

"Fine?  _ Fine? _ Do ya think I'm  _ stupid?! _ I know yer not fine!"

Ichigo felt what little control he had left in his inebriated state snap.

" _ SO WHAT?! _ " He paused when he saw Shinji jump back at his outburst before continuing, " _ Of course _ I'm not  _ fine! _ I can't even remember the last time I was  _ fine _ , so what makes you think I suddenly need  _ help! _ " He gulped air down into his burning lungs, emotions surging as tears burned his cheeks, "I have been taking care of myself ever since I was  _ nine, _ when my mother died and my father started ignoring me. I fought battles against  _ Gods _ and  _ kings _ even though they had  _ nothing to do with me! I sacrificed part of my soul for people I barely knew! _ "

His chest heaved as his body shook, he felt drained but he wasn't done yet. Even with Shinji reaching for him.

"And that's not even the worst part." His eyes lock onto Hirako's, "The worst thing is how I was treated afterwards. I didn't want fame or fortune. I didn't expect to be treated any differently. I thought everything would stay about the same, that I'd still be able to  _ talk _ and  _ joke _ with my friends." He feels his heart break a second time. "But it didn't. My friends, my family, everyone just... stopped. Stopped talking, stopped hanging out, stopped  _ seeing _ me. Even my own  _ sisters _ lied to me and treated me like glass." He growled. " _ Do you know how that feels? _ To have everyone you care about  _ abandon you like a broken toy?! _ "

Ichigo's shoulders slumped as his gaze went to the ground. "There are times I wonder," the tears came faster now as his voice lowered to a whisper, " _ If anyone would care if I died. It's not like my life actually matters in the long run anyways. _ "

**_Smack_ **

The pain that stemmed from his cheek made him aware of just how  _ numb _ he had felt. His eyes raised to meet Hirako's, the arm responsible still crossed over his chest and slightly raised. His eyes had tears in them and he was frowning.

" _ How dare you. _ " He froze at the low icy tone the other used, "How dare you say such a thing. Do you have any idea just how much you mean to  _ them _ , how much you mean to  _ me?! _ I had no  _ idea _ what you were going through! I was told you didn't want to see us! And...and for you to just... _ admit _ such a thing. That you want to  _ take your life away _ . Do you have any idea just how that'll affect your friends? Your sisters?  _ Me? _ " His voice became softer, " _ Please _ don't do this. Please don't  _ leave me. _ "

Ichigo merely stared as Shinji looked away, desperately trying to comprehend warmth that bloomed in his chest. He had never been particularly good with emotions, whether it was his or someone else's, so he decided to do what he always did. Follow his instincts.

He took a step closer to Shinji before bringing up his hands to cup the blonde's face. It was red and covered with tears, his eyes red. Ichigo's probably looked worse. Not that it mattered, there wasn't anyone else in the vicinity. He took a deep breath and hoped he didn't fuck it up before leaning down.

_ Ambrosia. _ That was the first thing that came to mind as his lips brushed against Shinji's.  _ The food of the Gods. _ He watched through half lidded eyes as Hirako's eyes widened before sliding shut, deepening the kiss. Before he knew it, there were arms around his neck as his own wrapped around the other's waist, a hand glided up to settle in golden locks. He nipped at soft flesh and quickly took advantage of the little gasp, purring as he invaded the others mouth and pulling the blonde's tongue into his mouth to suck and nip at, savoring every little noise that Shinji made.

A light push on his chest made him stop and pull away, only now feeling his lungs burn from lack of oxygen. Not that he could complain, not with Shinji looking like that.

Cheeks flushed, mussed hair, and panting, the blonde was currently standing awkwardly with his legs crossed. Ichigo didn't have to be a genius to know why.

"We should continue this somewhere private."

"What, the ranting and the crying or the kissing?"

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3:   
> ❧ Daemons AU  
> ❧ Different first meeting


End file.
